Some of my friends ask me if I have a boyfriend. I answer them with a NO. They will ask again if I have been into a relationship. I said NOT YET.
These are common topics we talk about whenever we have conversations. They are quite surprised that I haven’t been in a relationship. I them tell why. I have three reasons:
1. Our parents do not allow us to have boyfriend/ girlfriend unless we graduate from college.
2. I am not yet prepared – physically, emotionally and mentally.
3. No guy has ever tried to court me.
I am going to explain every reason. 🙂
Reason #1: Our parents started creating a family at a very young age. You would imagine a teenager carrying a baby with them. They are concerned and they wanted to protect us. They don’t want us to be like them who are not ready and immature. They wanted us to realize how difficult it is to raise a family with three children. What more if we are more than five or six. They want us to enjoy our youth and become the person we hope to be. They want us to see the real story, real life and the truth. They want us to view in a different perspective what are the consequences when you create a wrong decision and did not listen to your parents’ advice.
Reason #2: I am physically not ready because I often stay at home. I only go outside whenever there is an important thing to do or when your mom asks you to buy something in a sari-sari store. I am not physically attached to anyone even my friends. There are times when we bid goodbye to one another. It is quite uncomfortable when they kiss you on the cheeks. (Because they do it every time, I am now used to it.) 😀
I am emotionally not ready because I am a sensitive person. I easily laugh, cry and get angry. I think I needed to manage these emotions. What if the guy leaves me, am I ready for that? What if he gets mad, will I do the same? Will I keep this pride?
I am mentally not ready because I think too much. Even a little detail gets a big space in my head especially when my family is involved. What if I have a problem with my family and my partner, which side am I going deal with first?
I realize that I should work on my WHAT IFs and eliminate my doubts. I should establish a stronger me. I should remember that it will consume me if I will not be able to overcome these fears.
Reason #3: I know many are curious about this third reason. My bestfriends tell me that I am a girlfriend material. I have a face with nose, lips, eyes, ears. I am a complete person. 🙂 My father and I had this conversation and it goes like this.
Papa: Anak, may nanliligaw na ba sayo?
Ako: Haha! Wala po!
Papa: Bakit wala?
Ako: … ?
Papa: Sinusungitan mo ata kaya ayaw lumapit.
Ako: Hahaha! Takot kasi sila sa akin. 😀
-end of convo-
I also noticed that too. People see me as cold, serious and quiet person (which is totally different from what they know). Ask my friends. They know me better. 🙂 I just look serious when I am alone and no one to talk to. It is weird that you smile or laugh when you are alone walking on the street. People might get confused whether you just a happy person or retarded. 😀 I have poor vision. This is a common problem to me. I don’t easily notice people from a far. Sometimes a friend walk through pass me and I did not even say Hi because I don’t recognize them.
I have realized so many things. Some of it I guess answered the question to why I still don’t have a boyfriend.
1. My family needs me. I was so focused on reaching my own goals and did forgot some important events.
2. I need to enjoy. Studying was my priority back then. I stayed up all night to study for exams, recitations, and projects. Now that I am working, I need to unwind and enjoy life.
3. God has purposes for my life. I wrote it in plural form because I know that there are really many purposes. I don’t blame anyone to why am I like this. Because in the first place I chose to be like this. I chose to be happy. I chose to be free.
I am not setting high standards or what. Am I that pretty to do that? Just kidding! 🙂 I truly BELIEVE that TRUE LOVE WAITS! I am and will patiently wait for the right guy for me. I am praying for a long term relationship, not the short one. I will pray for him.
God bless you future boyfriend! 🙂